Thursday, 17 April 2014

5 Reasons Why iHate Smartphones

The turn of the century ushered a new era in the telecommunication fantasies. Phones could now be forced into pockets. Midway through the decade, phones turned into a miniaturized entertainment centers and Nokia phones, which were hot property to own in their times, were shifted to old age homes. Towards the end of the decade, these new age phones outsmarted humans. Smartphones were born. I hate smartphones. Here are the reasons…

These pic-addicts, with their smartphones, got one more reason to click the hell out of everything. They can now take pictures of shit from multiple angles, pass them through a damn filter and voila – epic shit.

Them touchscreens…
While I struggle to select one emoticon out of a million ones on WhatsApp, my friend has already replied emoticons with range wider than John Abraham entire domain of emotions.
This struggle slowly turns into frustration. Typing on non-touchscreen phones is a pain in the ass, slightly

Game of thrones…
Here thrones being the games on our dumb phones. The only things they are capable of are bouncing balls in random directions. Jo games mere laptop mein nahi chalet wo inke phones mein daudte hain. Painful this.

Dumb people with smartphones...
A major turnoff. A significant part of the population has an IQ difference of more than 50 between them and their phones. Interesting how their attire changes to sync with their latest smartphones.

I don’t have one...
So all in all, this is the reason. Jealousy constitutes majority of my hate. I have a Nokia, age 35 to a smartphone’s 20. Mine can survive in the era of smartphones, but just like Hugh Hefner, I want a younger one. In my friend circle, I am the odd one out now. I don’t like being one.

I apologies if this rant of a post has hurt your sentiments. You can now go back to your smart companions now. It would be ironical if you read this on a smartphone. Pardon my strong sentiment, but these smartphones put together with some of their owners are some obnoxious pieces of crap.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Politics Over Tea ??

“I think BJP has a very decent chance to form the government this time around.”
“AAP has a pretty solid principle too. They should be given a chance at the center.”
“Nothing matters man. Congress has been fooling the voters for years. The idiots will vote for them again I am sure.”

These are some very common line of thoughts among an average Indian these days. Even those with no idea of the number of states this country has, participate in debates showing off their intellectual prowess concerning politics and national issues. A decade long Congress supporter backs them. The AAPtards then come forward and count the scams Congress government was involved in during their term. The BJPites then shout out loud the recent debacle AAP government faced in the national capital. Everyone points a finger at everyone. Pseudo-intellectuals at work.

Poverty, corruption, education – some of the major issues most political parties base their pre-election manifestoes on. These are brought up in every debate, are part of all contesting candidate’s promises, and are the major points of the current government’s report card. All governments, especially those of the developing nations like India must tend to the said issues. Let’s take an instance – Congress, one of the major players at the national level, has been promising to free the country of poverty since it first came to power and they will continue doing so, it seems that way.

But it may surprise you if I tell you that things can be made better by an individual. Yes, just one person per person. Corruption creeps into the system the moment you take out your wallet to bribe the traffic police officer who just pulled you over because you weren’t wearing a helmet. When you offer a candy to a toddler just to make him repeat the newest word he learnt, well that’s corruption, just an adorable version of it however. Ask yourself once, do you really have the right to accuse the government of multi-crore scams when you were involved in your own mini versions of it ??

If you have no one to blame, blame the government. That’s how it all works. It’s a pretty nice way to go about things. But bragging about your knowledge of the issue plaguing the nation and not once proposing a way to tackle them, well that does not make you a better citizen.
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