Friday, 29 November 2013

Will You Marry Me ??

Bent on one knee, a glistening piece of diamond ring in my outstretched hand, I looked upto her and asked, “Lady of my dreams, will you marry me ??” 
Beaming with joy, a tear trickled down her cheek.
“Of course my idiot..” she replied, “..but conditions apply with this package.” She said pointing at herself.

I Am Sorry

Brimming with all this pain,
Some are upset all over again,
Bound with this guilt chain,
Apologies again and again and again.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

These Guys Deserve Bharat Ratna Too...

Lately, there have been a lot of debates concerning the recently conferred Bharat Ratna on Sachin Tendulkar. Some factions have emerged backing the case of Major Dhyanchand and questioning whether Sachin really deserves to be awarded with highest civilian honor of the country. Regardless of the outcome of these debates and with utmost respect to Sachin, I would like to bring up some names that deserve the honour in the same capacity for their service and huge contribution in their respective fields.
These guys deserve Bharat Ratna too…

Continue Reading for the justifications in resting the case of the civilian honour with these gentlemen. For all of my articles at Campusghanta, click here.

Saturday, 23 November 2013

Epic Chess


The Objectification of Women


What are the easiest and the most effective way to impress a girl?? Well don’t bother purchasing an expensive car and no need to suit up, just spray an AXE deodorant and voila! You’ll have the hottest girls swarming all over you in no time. Similar is the case in mattress ads. Such advertisements have infested the daily broadcast. These ads are created under the impression that female models in skimpy and exposing outfits compel the user to buy the product.

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Just Another Viva !!



“Next roll number, come in” the examiner shouted,
Was my preparation up-to the mark? I highly doubted.
My terror and confidence fighting it out, I walked in.
A random figure on the board behind, he chalked in.

“Explain it to me” he pointed at the board,
The chalk in his hand equivalent to a sword.
“It’s not in the syllabus, sir.” I answered back,
Outraged at my audacity, he was taken aback.

He thundered, “So, you think you know it all ??”,
Calmly I said, “Yes sir, I read it just outside the hall”.
He opened his register and marked the grade,
That being the mystery, I walked out dismayed.



                                       As part of 100 Words on Saturday on Write Tribe.


Saturday, 16 November 2013

Sachin Tendulkar and the Mass Effect


The man needs no introduction. Such has been His aura that he overshadowed all other Sachins in all spheres of life. The mere mention of His name in a crowded place sends everyone in a frenzy, hopeful eyes start searching for one glance of the master, but out emerges an 8 year old kid named Sachin by His parents hoping someday he will replicate His scores (yes, capital H for the God). He inspired his young fans to be polite, clean and dedicated as He took the high road when his team was in turmoil, engulfed in the betting scandal. Two decades of memories and thundering cheers are about to calm down. A religion is about to lose its deity. His is a name synonymous with the game itself. He makes it look easy.
The master has served the nation, inspired a generation of cricketers and unified the country like never before. Here’s how He has affected the country…
1. Population control…
For the 20-odd years he played cricket, not much sex happened when he batted and he batted for so loooong. His career has contributed more towards population control than the multi-crores spent on awareness campaigns. India would have surpassed China’s population years ago had it not been for Sachin Tendulkar.
 2. The Bharat bandhs
Strikes have been a striking feature of our democratic model. Political parties, trade unions have been pursuing it as a hobby for years. Har doosre din koi na koi rooth kar bandh ka elaan kar deta hai.Unintentionally, Sachin has also done the same, but unlike the above mentioned bandh, not one soul complained when Sachin was on the ground. Corporate offices reported loss of productivity, students bunked colleges and people stayed home to see the genius at work. There have been multiple ‘public holidays’ thanks to Him.
Continue reading for the complete article at Campusghanta.com.

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Phil Speaks !!


Sarcasm - An Idiot's Klingon


If you have come across this article by mistake, remember it isn’t a mistake but a well-planned conspiracy of the universe because you were considered too stupid otherwise. But what on Earth is this sarcasm thing I speak of ? Well, the dictionary defines the word as..
“A tongue of which the user speaks but means something the complete opposite”
It is the bastard stepchild of irony. It is your body’s natural defense against stupidity.
oye likh raha hai kya ?
nahi, pen paper ka intercourse kara raha hoon.

Friday, 8 November 2013

Nostalgic School Days - The Morning Assembly !!




We are born; we learn, go to college and then work till we die. We navigate through numerous phases in life, sad and happy. Of those, the times spent in school are the best moments by far. No matter how old we get, how successful we become in life, the mere mention of school opens the floodgates and those sweet and sour nostalgic memories start pouring in.

As a child some 4-5 years old, we hated that moment we had to leave the comfort of the bed and the sweet morning dreams to get ready for school. We did resist, but were thrown out of bed nevertheless. And this never changed, not for any of those 12 years or so.

Once in school, we met our greatest companions, swiftly checked our secret crush’s presence, discussed the last night’s match and were reminded of the homework due for submission that day and the priceless “shit, nahi kiya yaar.. tune ?”. This more than made up for the misery of waking up.

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Sachin की diary के पन्नों से...




तेरी short of the length balls  की मस्तियाँ,
तेरी slower balls  की बेपरवाह गुस्ताखियाँ,
तेरी off stump पे लहराती delivaries,
नही भूलूंगा मैं..
जब तक है जान, जब तक है जान.

तेरा हाथों में grip छुपाना,
तेरा spin करके ball का रुख़ मोड़ना,
तेरा फिर पलट के मुझे घूरना,
नही माफ़ करूँगा मैं,
जब तक है जान, जब तक है जान.

सारे fielders को ball के पीछे नचाने से,
बात बात पर तेरे sledging करने से,
छोटे छोटे तेरे cute appeals से,
मोहब्बत करूँगा मैं,
जब तक है जान, जब तक है जान.

Leg पर आने वाली balls को on-drive से,
हर ball को cover drive, straight drive, upper cut से,
Hook, paddle sweep, pull, on flick से,
मारता रहूँगा मैं,
जब तक है जान, जब तक है जान.



Sunday, 3 November 2013

What if … Rahul Gandhi As PM?


Indian politics is one of the most hyped and discussed topic of interest worldwide at this time, not just because we are a significantly huge democracy, in turmoil these days, but because with over 1.2 billion as population, the next year’s general election may affect the overall IQ of the globe.
The competition for the office of PM has come down to people’s champion NaMo and the mass entertainer RaGa. Almost all of the media, both print and India TV are heavily doped on every statement these two make, every breath they take. Anyway, I think we have the strongest race for the prime position of Indian politics in a long time, with two extremely versatile candidates in fray – one has a way with the masses, the other being Kapil Sharma’s only competition.
However, it would be a “Legen…wait for it...Dary” day if RaGa comes to power. My arguments are as follows:
 1. Common sense will be declared as a superpower.
The country has seen enough. ‘Intelligent voters’ was declared an endangered species the day Congress was elected for a second term. If the tragedy continues for a third straight term, legends like APJ Abdul Kalam will be declared Stan Lee’s super-humans, and common sense would surely be a superpower – being possessed by only a handful few.
 2. Freshers will have a solid defense.
Since eternity, fresh graduates have been cold-shouldered for lack of experience. Consider this – if a totally useless person with no previous cabinet responsibility and with no leadership quality whatsoever is the first choice of an entire political party to be the PM, this can certainly be used to get a job in that very country!
“I’m sorry, you have no previous experience. We can’t hire you.”
“But sir, Rahul Gandhi…”
“Yeah, fair point, kal se aa jaana kaam par.
Continue reading... for the complete article at Campusghanta.com.

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